This essay acts as something of a companion piece to Tansy Rayner Roberts’ piece from January (“Romantic Lead Balloons”). In that one, Roberts looks at some of the least romantic men in the Discworld novels - men who nonetheless are placed in (somewhat) romantic situations, with at least the suggestion that sex might happen. In this essay, she examines the apparent prohibition on Discworld wizards engaging in sexual intercourse. She looks at the various reasons presented across different novels for the prohibition, as well as suggesting her own theory. These range from fears of super-wizards to “urgh, girl cooties” to the possibility that wizarding might attract the sort of man who prefers scholarly over romantic pursuits.